Hit The Hay Chapter 3

Chapter Three: In which out Hero wakes up in an unfamiliar bedroom and has no-idea of what is about to happen, which is a pretty good metaphor for life in general really...

Hit the Hay Chapter Three

Hit The hay Chapter 2

Chapter Two of our tale in which Celestia makes Big Mac an offer he can’t refuse involving his head, and the rest of hid body for that matter, in a bed. Hers.

Hit the Hay Chapter Two

Hit The Hay

Long time no-see, as the blind long-case clock repairman said.

I’ve been reading a lot of My Little Pony fanfic lately (who hasn’t?) and I’m sorry to say i’ve hit what i call the “lemon wall”, the point at which the shear amount of Bad shipping, erotic fanfic and Rule 34 makes me angry at my fellow fans. this is not unique to MLP:FiM, I hit the wall in my early days as a “X-Files” fanboy, and latter as a Harry Potter fan (thank you very much, theastronomytower.net). What’s worse is, I have nothing against Rule 34 or lemon fics, SO LONG AS they are done well, thats is to say, if they have an actual story, rather than just being mindless porn-without-plot.

I mentioned this to a co-worker not long ago (and this being archaeology this was by no stretch the strangest conversation that day) and they said that rather than complain I should try to do something about it. They suggested i try to raise the overall standard of the genre. And like a bucking idiot I said yes.

So, here we go. I have, and i have no idea why, if I’m honest with myself, written a My Little Pony Friendship is Magic version of Pretty Woman, with a few little twists and a good chunk of Oscar Wild, pTerry, “Wicked”, “One Bad Rat” by Bryan Talbot “Out of Position” by Kyell Gold, a little of brony superstar John Joseco and a bit of political theory thrown into the mix. Why? buggered if I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time. These things usually do. Adult thems, but I’m keeping it all reasonably clean, at least to start off with. I have some standards, believe it or not.

My Little Pony, friendship is magic is wholly owned by Hasbro Toys and was developed for television by Lauren Faust (a goddess among women). I do not own it, characters or locations: this is a fan-work made not for profit and intended as artistic homage under fair use. Plese suport the offical relace.

Hit the Hay: Chapter one; in which we meet our players, learn a little of their pasts and personalities, and discover how to actually set a scene rather than launching into the Rule 34 without so much as a by-your-leave, something hitherto unknown in this or any other fandom.

My Little Pony: forensics is magic; part two

Yes, I finished in under two weeks, a new record for me.

The story continues as Wedge and Biggs search for Pinkie’s accomplice, and start to uncover some truly disturbing facts about the killing...all done in the traditional MLP:FIM style!

My Little Pony: forensics is magic part two.

My Little Pony: forensics is magic

I know, I’ve been working on this junk rather than finishing my original Fiction, but inspiration is a wind: you can’t control it and when it blows you’re usually better off going with it than fighting against it. So fanfic not Original Fiction: that’s one strike against my credibility...

It’s a My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic fanfic.

That’s strike two.

It’s a Pseudo-sequel to Cupcakes.

Strike Three he’s Out! (note, as a Brit, this is my only knowledge of baseball. Above and beyond the fact it involves strikes you could tell me almost anything about that game and i’d believe it. American football I get, baseball... it’s a complete mystery to me.)

Yes, sorry chaps. But, it’s halloween. Consider this a Trick and/or treat (again, as a brit Halloween is another institution i’ve never really got, but never mind) I’ve followed the rise of “Bronies” online with considerable and purely anthropological interest, wondering what all the fuss was about and marveling at the totally inexplicable memes and in-jokes (thank you Meme-bace). Then, two weeks ago when house sitting and very bored, I discovered that they had finally got round to showing My Little Pony Friendship is Magic on british TV, and it instantly took over small but important parts of my mind. I’ve always had a soft spot for the weirder aspects of internet culture, was a borderline Furry, and still regularly watch cartoons I remember from the ’90s, so you could say I was a Bronie in the making...

And of course, I could resist the chance to take a much-loved children’s cartoon and put in realistic depictions of crime-scene forensics, time of death estimations, Noir plot elements and cold-blooded murder, because thats what watching Animals of Farthing Wood as a kid will do to you.

So buckle up and enjoy as Guardsponies Wedge and Biggs investigate what looks to be a routine murder at Sugarcube Corner and stumble onto a far bigger and more sinister crime.

concluding part soon...

Happy Halloween!

My Little Pony: Forensics is Magic, part one.